Sorry. Forgot the spoiler warning. Anyways, as I was saying before... Harry Potter Dies!

So I was headed to the bathroom while at work, and happened to notice hundreds of boxes with the Harry Potter and Scholastic labels on them, and one of them had busted open. Opening or tampering with packages is a firing offense at UPS, but what kind of older brother would I be if I didn't do everything in my power to ruin the ending of the only book series my youngest sister has religiously read? So as quickly as I could, I grabbed up one of the books and headed to the only quiet, secure place in the entire hub. My initial plan was just to flip through as quick as possible and learn as much as possible as fast as possible. But an hour later, when one of the managers found me with the pilfered goods, I'd flipped through or speed-read a good chunk of the second half. It might have cost me my job, but that was a small price to pay.

So without further ado, the second half of Deathly Hallows, abridged.

Early in the book Ron gets Hermione pregnant, they keep it a secret until she is showing, and their parents force them to marry. They publicly announce a wedding date, knowing that it will be targeted by Death Eaters and that it is likely that Voldemort himself will show up. The Order of the Phoenix use this as a chance to ambush the D.E., and a massive battle ensues. Apparently by this time 5 of the 6 horcruxes are gone, and with the help of Wormtail, Voldemort is dispatched by Harry. Harry realizes that he is the last horcrux, and decides it's time to off himself while the battle is still raging. He can't bring himself to do it, so he confronts Malfoy (the younger) who has just injured Neville Longbottom. Harry verbally tears into Malfoy, driving him into a rage. Until this point, Malfoy has been only using non-lethal spells, and Harry continues to torment him until he breaks down and uses the killing spell. Harry dies, and Neville confronts Malfoy. With their leaders gone, both the O. of P. and the D.E.'s will to fight diminishes and the D.E. start retreating.

Harry is buried as a hero, and numerous familiar faces show up to pay respect. Neville becomes the new face of the OotP and is singled out and praised by the papers for his heroic actions, and he gets the girl (Luna Lovegood). When the Malfoy the older finds out what the younger has done, he is initially angry, but then sees the power vacuum created in the D.E. and decides to try and fill it. His first task for the reformed D.E.'s is to track down and kill as many of the good guys as possible without drawing too much attention to themselves. Mr. Weasley gets run down in a traffic accident, and Hagrid gets mauled by one of his strange beasts. The good werewolves get attacked by a pack of evil werewolves and it is undetermined if they make it out alive.

Ron and Hermione's daughter is born, and then decide to name her Lily. They get attacked by the Malfoys, and even through Ron managed to petrify the younger, the older kills him and then moves in to finish off Hermione. She sacrifices her life to save her kid, and blah blah blah, the whole cycle starts over again. The book ends with an epilogue set 11 years later as Lily Weasley sets off for her first year at Hogwarts. (Don't be surprised if in a couple of years you see Lily Weasley books coming out.) But then, after the acknowledgments, there is a sort of extra scene where Mr. Weasley, thought dead but just in a coma, wakes up to find the entire British Isle has been over run with zombies. The End.